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Positives and Negatives
On my previous pages, I established how certain groups of people within Mormonism are othered and why people leave. Sometimes, those things are connected, and other times, they are not. While there may be common themes, each individual's experience is unique to them. Depending on people's own experiences as members and their reasons for leaving, some choose to join ex-Mormon groups while others choose to navigate their lives outside of those groups. Just as there are varying viewpoints among members within Mormonism, there is the same within ex-Mormonism. The "ex-Mormon community" includes a vast array of belief (or non-belief) systems, political values, interests, and ideas. Therefore, when compiling a list of potential resources, one must recognize that there cannot be a one-size-fits-all approach. However, that should not deter someone from attempting to build and compile resources that have the potential to positively affect the lives of ex-Mormons. The key is being mindful and reflective in the process of developing such resources, which should include an evaluation of what currently exists. In my surveys and focus groups, I asked participants to provide feedback on the ex-Mormon groups to which they belong. We did not go into specific groups, so the answers are very general, but they give an idea of what is working and what needs improvement. Those findings can be found below.
"I found a super irreverent podcast that I love because I was feeling so devastated [and] I needed somebody who... just would make fun of it... so it wasn't as heavy... it's the Not So Molly Mormon Podcast... They're super cute. They're super funny... [but] they're not for everybody" - Interview Participant
How have ex-Mormon groups helped?
There are many ex-Mormon groups that can be found on platforms like Facebook and Reddit. For many ex-Mormons today, those groups are often the first place they go as they embark on their transition out of the religion.
In my survey, 77 respondents answered the open-ended question, "How have ex-Mormon groups helped"? I coded their responses to fit different categories. The top five categories are displayed here:
48 said ex-Mormon groups give them validation for their experiences and their feelings.
36 said the groups have helped foster connection with other ex-Mormons who have been through similar experiences.
17 said they allow self-expression in that they are given the chance to share their own stories when they often feel silenced and withdrawn around Mormon family and friends.
12 said that ex-Mormon groups have helped them build community, which is one of the most common features for ex-Mormons to miss about their former religion.
9 said that the groups provide education about Mormonism, whether it be on history, doctrine, or problematic teachings pushed by the Church that marginalize certain people.
"There are several, you know, large ex-Mormon groups... they profit off of you continuing to have grief. They profit off of you continuing to have a hard time... in recovering from Mormonism and that. They tend to feed off of anger a little bit, and for me, that's been a problem because as much as I feel like my Mormon history has been important in shaping who I am as a person, I would like to get away from it." - Focus Group Participant
How have ex-Mormon groups been problematic?
No system is perfect, and ex-Mormon groups are not without their own issues and concerns. Some of the problems are carried over from Mormonism itself, and others are just part of modern society and life.
In my survey, 73 respondents answered the open-ended question, "How have ex-Mormon groups been problematic"? I coded their responses to fit different categories, but found much more variety in the answers than with the question regarding the positive aspects of ex-Mormon groups. Therefore, it is difficult to provide a true ranking of the issues. This graphic gives an idea of the most referenced themes I coded in the survey. It is important to note that 9 of the 73 people who answered the question responded that they have not witnessed any problems at all. This could be because the groups they are in have not had the same issues as others, the people surveyed have not been in the groups long enough to notice problems, or that they just completely missed them.
While there were far more references to groups being negative and angry, some respondents cited toxic positivity as an issue. Additionally some survey participants noted humor as a positive about ex-Mormon groups, but others noted that they deem some of humor as crude, hateful, or offensive. The wide range of criticisms highlights the fact that no group will ever fit the needs of every ex-Mormon, so it is important for people to find a group that fits with them, which may take a bit of trial and error. Their need for specific groups may change over time as well. People at the beginning of their faith journey have different needs than those who are more removed from their Mormon past.
Read more about my research:
Read more about my research:
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